The Bible specifically calls on us to not be unequally yoked. Those of us who have ever been in a serious relationship with a non-Christian know that usually we go down much faster than we bring them to the thrown of God. Not always, but usually. That is why it is a bad idea. Anything that takes us off the path God has us on is unhealthy. I even know that despite what people may say, even dating a non- Christian is rather futile.
However, what is a Christian man? Following that, where is one to be found? Now really, think about these questions. I don’t want the standard answers. Don’t tell me to read Proverbs. I want to know in plain and simple terms, what is a Christian man and do they really exist anymore? (I know they do, but why do they loose their mind in their thirties?)
I can already hear the balking coming from the male species but think this out. As a single man, your choices are much, much more than a single woman’s. More than likely you don’t have full custody of the kids. More than likely you can pick someone 10 years younger than you and they will probably be able to catch up rather quickly on the maturity scale. As a single man you just have more choices. Fine, that is our (the female’s) cross to bear. Got it. So then why can’t the choices be better?
In the past two years since I have been divorced I have been on only a handful of dates. Most of them lasted about an hour. Then I was done. Or they said I talked too much. Whatever. Anyway, Out of that handful, I met three that lasted in some way or another for quite a few months. One, last year, was long distance so I sort of saw the end coming unless I was willing to move to Nebraska. Let me tell you though, this guy was, on the surface, a Christian to boot. Actually, he was really genuine. He was the first guy I had ever met that asked me to pray with him. He would call me every morning on the way to work and pray. However, he had some major issues of his own, and a strange inability to lead or to trust God to help him lead. He simply had no concept of “Head of Household.” Oh but how he loved God. He loved God and respected me so much that when he came out here to visit he spent the whole weekend texting another girl. That was awesome Christian man behavior. There is just no defending that. I never answered his phone calls ever again.
So that was a “Great Christian Guy.” This is what I don’t get. The next “date” was not a Christian. (I already know.) He was however everything else. He was beautiful, wealthy, kind, endearing, and super intelligent. We would talk from sundown to sunrise. It turned out that we would never be anything but friends, but the guy is amazing. Did I mention he is an Agnostic? Most of our discussions revolved around that. To this day this guy and I remain friends. The only reason I have never dated him is because he is not a Christian. However I think the whole thing is somewhat of an ironic joke and I do have it out with God every once in a while. We are talking about a man who has no belief in God, yet who knows how to treat people better than most Christians, including myself. Will the real Christian Men please stand up?
The third guy I consider fairly serious, I dated for about 4 months. This one recently came to an end and seriously gives me pause. This guy seemed to be just a really great Christian guy, and then he seemed too great. Especially when he started to tell me that God had chosen him as his head commander here down on earth for the new army. I thought he was kidding. Apparently he was not. However, I kept praying about this and kept feeling somewhat at peace, maybe lazy, maybe just content. He was nice and good to my kids, until one day he was not. One day he blew up on my kids, in front of my kids, about my kids to my kids. You get the picture. He was so nasty. It was like a demon or another personality coming out of him. I was afraid for my children and I was afraid for me. I knew at that point that no matter how sorry he might be, which he never was, I would never trust him around my children again. I am positive he is abusive. I know he is verbally abusive. I have been there before. I know what comes next. Again, will the Christian men please stand up?
Here is one thing I have noticed, there seems to a trend among Christian men in their 30’s that I hear often. Many of them are simply not established. Somehow or another they feel that getting right with God means completely changing everything in their life. It might mean that, but it doesn’t mean that if in doing so you are going to cause great havoc in everyone else’s life. If you are responsible for other people (let’s say kids?) You just can’t up and move to a different state and honestly say you are in the will of God. It does not add up. You can’t keep changing jobs, and have no way to take care of a family and think it is ok to date or marry. You are not 18. You are dating differently and many of the women you are dating have kids. They can barely support themselves much less support you as you consider changing careers every other month. For whatever reason, Christian men seem to fall victim to this. Maybe it is Satan’s way of destroying them where he knows he can. I don’t know, but there certainly seems to be an awful lot of wayward soldiers out there.
I am convinced that God did not mean for those of us who do not wish to be alone, to be alone. It does not matter what the circumstances were before. I am just asking for someone to explain the possibly unexplainable.
