Amazing Grace how sweet the sound that saved a wretch like me… I once was blind…
How does the rest of that song end for me today? For you today? If you are struggling with pain and depression the answer has many paths to choose from.
I don’t like to admit that I am depressed. I have found that it get’s me absolutely no where in life. People who are depressed stand by themselves. Those who are also depressed can’t seem to quite help the depressed, and those who are not depressed or have never been depressed simply do not understand and only have patience for a day or so of it. Then they leave. Your sadness is too much for them and they can’t watch you like this. Little do they know that at that moment they have added to your shame and deepened your sadness. If they called on you for help, in any form or fashion, they were calling out.
Basically someone who goes through depression learns that because of this depression they are not normal. This could not be further from the truth, but the isolation makes the mind think crazy thoughts. In thinking they are not normal their self worth begins to diminish and yes I guess it s true, maybe they do stop loving themselves. When I look in the mirror tonight do I love myself? No, I am embarrased that I have gotten to this point and yet all I want to do is get out of this.
I don’t think that is something that people who do not struggle with depression get. The common “cure” they seem to have is “get out there, decide you are not going to fee this way!” I wish, oh how I wish that I was doing this on purpose and I could just talk myself out of it. That would be awesome.
Feelings of depression are caused by a chemical change that affects how the brain functions. It is not something that can be completely controlled. ANYONE can get depression for any reason and it is really pathetic that we know so little behind it causes and we are so afraid to talk about it. Do you realize that you can even get turned down for health insurance if you have a pre-existing condition of depression? It is a medical issue, not a person issue.
For those that feel the push, the sadness, the pain, the unworthiness of depression tonight, look up depression on the internet and start your research there. Then remember that tonight you are not alone in feeling like the future is blurry and you have lost your way. Ask for help and be kind to yourself. Don’t keep beating yourself up over the fact that you don’t feel good.
For those of you who know someone dealing with depression, be a little kinder, listen a little more, talk a little less, hold a little more.
